Wot No Burglars!!

Where’s the dog, where’s the dog?
There are burglars in the house
But the dog sleeps oh so quietly
As quietly as a mouse.

And so the husband, he takes charge
It’s the middle of the night
Reluctantly creeping down the stairs
He’s our hero in full – fright.

Of course – there was nobody there
It was one of those ‘sounds in the night’
And our hero couldn’t have seen him
He’d forgotten to turn on the light.

The hero thus returns to bed
Not to welcoming open arms
His wife has drifted back to sleep
Oblivious to his charms.

Oh well he thinks as he gets in bed
And then he falls himself to sleep
Meanwhile below, the hidden thief
Leaves for his home with swag to keep.


My Aunt’s Cat

He often wanders down the street
And depending on his mood
He’ll lie right down and take the sun
He sleeps or plays, he’ll walk or run.

Nothing seems beyond his reach
There’s very little you could teach
He gets in places others can’t
He’s often stroked by my old aunt.

He likes to curl up by my aunt’s side
Purring shows he’s satisfied
He is indeed a handsome cat
If he could talk he’d tell you that.

Sometimes he’ll bring a mouse indoors
Playing with it with his paws
Aunt’ll chase him out again
My aunt, she is the mouse’s friend.

Who would own such a naughty cat
Not those next door, we all know that
For they’ve a dog with a long, long tail
And cat just bites it without fail.

Dog chases cat, aunt chases dog
Around the garden they all jog
That’s when the cat jumps on the fence
He always wins – he’s too much sense.

For now we’ll leave him and my aunt
He’s fed and there’s nothing he will want
They’re both asleep right by the fire
It’s late and time old cats retire.