Teenage boys can be cruel

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Sometimes we return to long ago conversations
where more than cross words were uttered
where protagonists squared up to one another
and arguments and insults were uttered.

And when with the benefit of hindsight,
that most magical and wondrous thing
we realise often how wrong we were
and the knowledge of embarrassments sting.

If we could just take back those words
that were aimed to wound so deep
knowing how they’d hit their mark
and said to make someone weep.

In those teenage years, how cruel we were
how very little of life we knew
how gentle and forgiving our heart’s desire
how slow the understanding – in young men grew.

I’m now a man – three score and five
a man who love has touched so deep
but I colour now as I think back
at my cruelty then and I want to weep.

For almost fifty years I’ve loved just one
kindness flows through her every pore
I’ve strived to make up for those teenage years
and she just smiles and then loves me more.

My luck has held, we’ve stayed the course
I pinch myself to check I can still feel
and she looks and smiles at me and I know
it’s not a dream and it’s still real.

©Joe Wilson – Teenage boys can be cruel 2014

A love that grows and grows

lovers in black and white_edited

She crushed his young heart with just a hard glance
he’d wanted for so long to ask her to dance
but with her haughty grin and that withering stare
he’d wished the ground would just swallow him there.

At the time they were both just sixteen years old
she had looked up at him and with a look that was cold
that had crossed over her face in such a harsh final way
he never thought he’d see her smile at him one day.

But he never gave up it just wasn’t his style
he thought that perhaps it would change in a while
so though he never pursued her he still always cared
and he made sure he stayed close but he never stared.

Then one day at lunchtime she spotted him nearby
and gave him a smile and in his heart he did cry
but cry out in joy at her beautiful face
and his heart just ran to her as if in a race.

She was not like the girl he had looked at before
but he too was no longer a child anymore
and in all of the years that had passed in between
she also had watched him and had followed his scene.

Both of them knowing that hearts now were full
and feeling desires for each other that pull
they fell into each others love hungry arms
and lived for that moment of love-driven charms.

They’ve never forgotten those love-hungry days
and they care for each now in so may ways
they’re always together even when they’re apart
for each gave the other the whole of their heart.

©Joe Wilson – A love that grows and grows 2014

My life less ordinary

contentment-inner-peace (1)

As the years go flying past
you realise just how much
your perspective changes and
when I now look back at how
things were I realise that far
from having had an uneventful life
mine has been one so full and rich
with love and laughter that I wonder
that there was time for it all to fit.

How we laughed as we left the wedding reception
and all those ‘old fogeys’ and drove away
to enjoy our honeymoon together – alone!
and how we loved each other finding fun in
all that we did together, sometimes
just looking at each other – and how
highly amused we were by the ‘jobs-worth’
car-park attendant by our hotel who stuck his hand out
the moment we crossed his threshold and said
“ten pee please”, he did it every time we went
there, often just to hear him say it again, and
how beautiful you looked in that dress that was
covered in the lovely cherry design. I think
everybody else loved you too.

How wonderful the mead tasted as we sat by the
pub fire in a place we’d never before heard of
never letting go of each others hands for a minute
and how the regulars who treated us so nicely
must have thought we were a bit bonkers.

The joys in raising our beloved children and
the intertwining pain of watching them sometimes
get a little hurt along the way, but our always
being there to help them find their own right solutions
has helped weave a rich tapestry through our lives.
The times when you want to take their pain and
make it your own – but can’t, the smile on their faces
and their laughter as they play with friends and
of course the grumpy expressions as they rail against
doing homework and tidying things like bedrooms. But
what pride we felt at their achievements along the way.

And now they too are married, one on a beach
under a lovely blue sky on the other side
of the world, and one in a most beautiful
church in our capital city. We spend such a
lot of time laughing with our grandchildren,
they are so very clever, and so funny – and
they just make us feel so young again.

Illness – illness!! Now there’s an unfortunate
word, one that has been used in our lives rather
more often than we would like. My wife has been ill,
survived and can still love and laugh. I have too,
but I can still love and laugh. Our children are not
unscathed either from this darker part of growing older,
and yet they too still happily love and laugh very much
and with all their hearts. Illness really is just
a small percentage of our time here.

So now when I reflect on my life I realise that
far from being ordinary I have been very lucky
indeed to have taken part in a life that has overflowed
with love and fun and laughter and only the occasional
sadness and it’s then that we help each other through
to the other side of it. It turns out the fact is
there has been nothing ordinary about my life at all.

And I’ll not be bowing out yet – not yet

©Joe Wilson – My life less ordinary 2014

She said “yes”

This can never do you justice.
J x

Silver clouds gently eased by overhead
standing out against a clear blue sky
and it was on such a beautiful morning
that I determined I’d give it a try.

My prospects were looking quite good now
I was certain I was in with a chance
and now was the time to take the bull by the horn
for it was true love, not a holiday romance.

I laid favourite flowers down before her
and I went down on one knee, that’s the thing
then I said, “Darling, will you please marry me?”
“for when I see you, you make my heart sing.”

I waited for what seemed like forever
as she sat there and looked into my eyes
then her eyes lit like sparkling diamonds
and she said “Yes.” and I let out a sigh.

©Joe Wilson – She said “yes”

On 1 July 2014 my wife, Daphne and I, celebrate our forty-second wedding anniversary. I would never have made it without her constant love and support. I wouldn’t have wanted to make the journey alone or with anyone else.

This poem is dedicated entirely to her…with love.

A Warm Heart

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The Heart is a dangerous and yet beautiful place
Where the traveller should be wary to call
For if Love, its companion, looks out at your face
Your defences are nothing and will easily fall.

But what a way to fall to a loving Heart
What happiness is promised every day
Though to the unwary it can all be too much
For then the Heart shrivels and it all blows away.

So if ever you’re there in that dangerous place
And your chest feels a warm tender feel
Be alive to all the Heart’s possibilities
And for you perhaps Love will reveal.

©Joe Wilson – A Warm Heart 2014

Surviving

thankful

 

Strenuously pushing against inevitability
He fights desperately for every breath
But the overwhelming coronary attack
Has surely guaranteed his death.

In those last few moments that remain
He reflects upon the sum of his life
Filled with regret of such magnitude
That he’ll never again see his wife.

For their’s was a bountiful marriage
A life full of children and love
A life that he really didn’t want to leave
For it fitted him just like a glove.

He awoke some twenty hours later – alive
Saved, this mere mortal man
He’d live a much more thankful life now
For it seems death was not yet in his plan.

©Joe Wilson – Surviving…2014

My love lies beside me

"Lasting Love" Metallic Print. LilacPOP
“Lasting Love” Metallic Print. LilacPOP

 

Inwardly smiling as the thought just returned
Remembering the shame as advances were spurned
Still going red at the thought’s recollect
No romance that time, another chance wrecked.

Ah adolescence and all the things new
The callowness is borne like a fedora askew
The so spotty face that we tried hard to hide
By growing our side-burns enormously wide.

And now decades later and still happy in love
With the woman who always fits me like a glove
Those teenage angst years are now way in the past
But we have to go through them for the now things to last.

To be loved for decades is a wondrous thing
My heart wakes each morning and just starts to sing
For my love lies beside me as we welcome the day
In my heart I now realise it was always this way.

©Joe Wilson – My love lies beside me 2014

Only Waiting 1992 (re-visited 2021)

graveyards
Bury me where you find me, bury me nice and deep
Bury me, remember me, and sleep a peaceful sleep
And dream of joy, not sorrow, dream of peace, not fear
And dream of your tomorrow, for I’ll not disappear.

And dream of us throughout your life, keep me in your heart
And though you’ll go through utter strife, we’ll never be apart.
And dream of all the love we had, dream of all the laughter
And dream, and dream, and don’t be sad, we’ll meet in the hereafter.
And dream of happy lovers, dream of you and me
And slowly you’ll discover, you’ll smile again, you’ll see
And dream of me when you’re alone, and you will see my face
And you’ll not be all on your own, but in my warm embrace.
Bury me where you find me, bury me nice and deep
Bury me, remember me, and I will go to sleep.
But I will wait for you my dear, through every lifelong storm
And when you come to join me here I’ll help to keep you warm.
Bury her where you find me, bury her nice and deep
Remember her, remember me, and we will go to sleep.
©JoeW – Only Waiting 1992 (re-visited 2021) as J Richard Wilson
Printed in the Anthology – A Question of Balance
ISBN 1-56167-038-3 (1992)

I wrote this poem after I had a sub-arachnoid haemorrhage that required immediate surgery, and some serious heart problems too, that also resulted in bypass surgery, and a devastating career loss. However, I was thirty-seven when that started and I’m sixty-five next week, and having realised the inevitability of death, I decided that it would not be yet, not yet!! Live long and love, and smile ❤

Just getting on with life

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The years get ever shorter
the number I’d not bet
but it’s not been a bad life
least-ways not up to yet
though there have a few things
its best that we forget.

That time I faced that big bloke
who was giving you the eye
I kicked him in the knackers
he still might wonder why
I caught him as he left the pub
he gave me a big black eye.

The times you almost lost me
you were waiting when I woke
I knew the hurt you were feeling
though not a word was spoke
you covered it up so bravely
and your spirit never broke.

The time when you were poorly
we worried for months so long
yet you were so amazing
your determination strong
I realise so many times
I’m right where I belong.

Retired now we still hold hands
as we go along our way
we remember to say ‘I love you’
each and every day
and as I sit down with my writing
I wouldn’t choose another way.

So yes we are in the twilight years
But we’re not about to fold
we won’t be hanging our boots up
we prefer behaving bold
and we won’t be taking it easy
we just don’t do what we’re told.

 

©Joe Wilson – Just getting on with life 2014

Heart

heart love_edited

The love that binds our sensitive hearts
Has powers so full of magic
Upsetting its delicate balance
Can cause damage so often tragic.

With all your heart you must work at love
Stay the course, don’t falter
The heart responds to kindness
For true love not to alter.

The heart is such a mighty thing
It will guide you through your day
Its steady beat sustaining life
As your emotions find their way.

Look after your heart, follow its lead
And you may yet find love
It’s as sure to be about you
As there are the stars above.

 

©Joe Wilson – Heart 2014