Ere long…

 

 

Wouldst that I could walk with you

Down verdant paths near forests deep

While buzzards hunt from lofty view

Nocturnal creatures gently sleep.

 

To silent ripples of narrow brook

Your gentle hand fills mine

A journey ere long undertook

My life with you divine.

 

And as we stroll in Nature’s thrall

My heart and yours as one

I cannot bear to think of times

When these such things are gone.

 

 

©Joe Wilson – Ere long… 2014

 

As always this is written for and to my beloved wife without whom
I would not wish to draw a single breath.

The 11:42 to lonely…

 

march railway station

Carrying with it my dreams and you
The train pulled out – 11:42
I couldn’t but think I now was lost
I’d made a choice, too high the cost.

I think back now and pains return
Wiping eyes of tears that burn
And thinking brings you to my mind
The beauteous soul of one so kind.

Regrets I feel for that poor choice
I miss so much your tender voice
If such decisions I made anew
I’d never stay, I’d go with you.

So sorely how I wish that train
Would bring you to my arms again
Where we could grow our love once more
As lonely fills my empty core.

So much regret this foolish joe
I chose career and watched love go
And should I gain great opulence
I’d sit alone, there’d be no sense.

©Joe Wilson – The 11:42 to lonely… 2014

All that is…

He died in a pool of disgust
after a lifetime of self-loathing
a life in which he had abused people
their trust, and even his own family’s good name.

He had been a terrible person by his own reckoning
and he was filled with remorse — but also self-pity.

It was thus that he found himself before his Maker
and he fully expected errors had been made in the direction
of his post-life travel arrangements.

His Maker looked at him and said,
“You are one sorry son,
and you’ve been a great disappointment.”

“I”, he spluttered.

“Interrupt me not, for I am not in the least finished.
You have stolen yet not hurt, you have hurt though not killed,
you have killed but only in the name of your country,
peace and negotiation and compromise seemingly beyond
the gift of human understanding.”

he heard him say,
for he was far too afraid to look upon his countenance.

“You have cursed and been ungodly
but you have cared for your old neighbour.
You have drunk to excess and yet have always
got to and done a days work.

Heaven only knows how sometimes.

You have had fights in the streets
though you have indeed tried to reform.
You have never listened to My Word
when I could have helped you and
it surely pained me to see you struggle.
You are one mixed-up man.”

He was agog as his sorry life was so
painfully listed before him, and
he was sorely afraid of his fate.

His Maker went on, “However,
you are basically a good man adrift.
somewhat confused and in a morass of self-doubt,
and I would not cast you down to my
Greater Disappointment below,
where you would surely not enjoy
— a single moment.

Get yourself in here lest I change my mind.
Do not think that this is the end of it, for
you have much to redeem yourself for
and my rooms are many.”

Without another word his Maker disappeared
and he was amidst a wondrous throng.
He felt completely enlightened and knew
he had been saved. His heart was so full
and he felt a goodness he’d never known.
He truly wished he could pass this feeling
on to those he had left behind and that
he could make up for his past wrong-doing.

“You will my boy,” he heard. “You will.”

 

©Joe Wilson – All that is… 2014

 

The emptiness…

He had searched for ten long years
always hopeful of finding the reason.

The reason she’d been taken from him
and why he always felt so alone.

Till one day he came to realise
that the memory of the feelings he’d had
were far far better and happier
than anything he could possibly hope to find.

He stopped looking
he got on with his life
no longer searching for a memory
and went about life with a new and fresh look.

He’d survived, and now he’d be alright.

The hole was still there
but for now at least
it was shored up
and he was functioning.

We can hope for more
even beg for more.

We’re lucky when that ‘more’ happens.

©Joe Wilson – The emptiness… 2013

A golden thread…

golden-thread (1)

A golden thread runs through my life
it keeps me safe with warmest love
along the way this well fit glove
has helped me live when I might not
when if I died meant not a jot
caring always that I’m well
constantly renews her spell
this thread protects me from all strife.
It brought me back from where I ran
with crazy notions in my head
this sorry creature that I am
I couldn’t live without my thread
but thoughts like these will see me through
because my golden thread is you.

 

©Joe Wilson – A golden thread… 2014

 

Arterial squeeze…

Along a rugged pathway
I not so silently struggle on
The rising fear is ever there within.

The returning pain like some old friend
Has called on me yet again
I’m powerless as always to resist.

Weakened now from this new call
I struggle to catch my breath
One day, one day, I may yet falter.

The hand of love forever there
Reached in the night to comfort
That alone has helped me through.

The darkness passes yet once more
And peace returns to quell
More fragile now once more, but on I go.

©Joe Wilson – Arterial squeeze…2014

 

An angel surely let me know…

Wing

 

For I would walk my love, with you
down lanes and through these pastures green
and we would talk as good friends do
of joy and life, in mood serene.

For man could find no better mate
than lifelong’s lover by his side
with things as these to cogitate
and stroll along in time’s great tide.

And as we glide along in peace
we talk and laugh enjoying life
my love continually doth increase
for you the one who is my wife.

To have found you so long ago
and loved you then as I do now
an angel surely let me know
the route to your heart, and the how.

If other men had love as mine
to grow and last a lifetime through
had lives all filled with hearts divine
and days of joy and romance new.

Such joy they too would countenance
and lives that feel so much more fine
as they cavort through merry dance
in life so wondrous such as mine.

 

©Joe Wilson – An angel surely let me know… 2014

I have been so blessed..

Daphne
Daphne

 

My heart belongs to only one
I gave it to her so long ago
And she has held it quite gently
Through Summer suns and Winter’s snow.

And when I’ve been found wanting
She’s helped me and held me close
Goodness!! She is so beautiful
She remains my English rose.

I could never have lived without her
There has always been such grace
And every morning when I awake
I see and love her beautiful face.

We are now so very much older
But our love still keeps us close
A lifetime spent in my lover’s arms
I’ve been blessed beyond my hopes.

©Joe Wilson – I have been so blessed… 2014

This poem is dedicated entirely to my beloved wife, Daphne.

 

My heart aches…

My heart aches, but not for you
For you nestle here beside me
Lying peacefully in my arms
Head resting on my chest
And I am in Heaven.

My heart aches, but at your presence
For I have never deserved you
I couldn’t have imagined
You could love me as you do
And yet you really do.

My heart aches, but for our parting
For I must go and yet may never
See your beloved face again
And my heart breaks in pieces
As now I leave this final time.

©Joe Wilson – My heart aches… 2014

I remember…

I remember
back to a time
when the black dog
hung around my neck
like a heavy yoke, I
could never be rid of
the terror that it
would not someday return
to seek me out and strike
me down again, and the knowing
how close I had come to succumbing.

I remember edging closer to the crowded
platform’s edge, too filled with fear to realise
the probable selfishness of what I was about to
do, only vaguely aware of where I actually was, but
just able to register that touch on my right arm
and the voice that quietly whispered, “I don’t really think
you want to do that.” I remember turning to see who’d said it
and seeing that there was just a crowd of people. Of the owner
of the voice there was no sign, but it had been enough.
It had been enough to make me realise where I was,
for the moment passed and I made my way back.

Back to the arms of the woman who had always loved me,
and who had carefully, lovingly, nursed me back to health
over such a long time. I wept. I put my head on her gentle
shoulder and I wept as I had never wept before. I wept for all
I still felt, and I wept for all the selfish anguish I would have
caused this woman had I let myself fall,

for that surely had been my intention.

©Joe Wilson – I remember…2014

This experience is my own. It followed a period of severe depression after a
subarachnoid haemorrhage in 1986. Thankfully the depression eventually lifted and
has long gone.