I’m sitting here shivering and waiting
And I’m not having very much luck
While Tom over there has a net full of perch
There’s nowt on the end of my hook.

It’ll be just the same when we next go
Tom’ll fill up his net with some bream
Me, I’ll catch me a couple of minnows
But I’ll smile when I’d much rather scream.

But wait! The carp season cometh
And it’s my turn to have me some fun
The one way that he’d catch a leather
Is to shoot at the thing with a gun.

The carp, what a mighty opponent
Has such power and grace all in one
But poor Tom as he lifts up his ledger
Finds no fish, and the bait has all gone.