I’m just sitting here, inside this shell
The feeling’s returned that I know so well
I need to do such a natural thing
But I cannot move, nor even ring
Out to anyone who goes by
And they will not look me in the eye.
I wonder if they wonder, if I have a brain
Obviously I have!! Or I’d not feel the pain
Not the hurt from the bones that are crooked and bent
But the being ignored: as if my life meant …. NOTHING.
In time they will wheel me off to the place
That sharpest reminder to me of disgrace
Then they’ll clean me and dry me, and put me to bed
I could easily give up and wish myself dead
But I am important; if only to me
So I’ll sit here and watch, and hope things will be.
One day, perhaps, the ill will subside
And inside my head I’ll not have to hide
I’ll travel away from this place at long last
Ah, but what foolish dreams…the die has been cast.
I wrote this poem in memory of my mother who suffered for five very long years after having multiple strokes. By the time she died the poor woman had had approximately seventeen.